


Battle Rap:  Alexandra Danvers v Astra In-Ze

by 5_Minute_Fics



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6176758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5_Minute_Fics/pseuds/5_Minute_Fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and Astra face off in a battle rap</p>
            </blockquote>





	Battle Rap:  Alexandra Danvers v Astra In-Ze

Battle Rap: Alexandra Danvers v Astra In-Ze

Go!

**Alex**

Astra you disasta' it's time you meet the masta'  
Lemme introduce ya  
To the most useful and fruitful agent  
In the Department of Extra-normal Operations  
I'm Alexandra Danvers  
The baddest agent in the agency  
Defending planet Earth from alien incursions  
Like the one where your prison hitched a ride with my sister  
You've been a pain in my ass  
Since you kicked off your plans  
To make this planet like your planet  
And your lifespan is reducin'  
You'll get nothing but confusion and bruisin'  
Your grand delusions are just bad illusions  
It's a forgone conclusion you'll be losin'  
It's time to call your savior, what's his name, Rao?  
But he's not gonna save ya  
You're on my planet now.

**Astra**

Husband, leave us  
I have business with this human  
Who has no business assumin'  
That her species is our equal  
They are fragile and weak willed  
And really should be grateful for the critically fateful  
Way we survived, arrived, thrived and contrived  
A way to save us all from the destruction  
Of the audacious consumption and outrageous presumption  
That a planet lives forever  
Regardless of whatever  
Resources you target and harvest to make profits  
These humans fill everything with garbage  
And waste, even their oceans and space  
And then are offended and threatened when another race defends it  
These humans suffer from arrogance and greed  
But soon will be on their knees  
Pleading and bleeding and begging us to be leading  
And then they will bow  
Before General Astra from Krypton  
Because this is my planet now.

**Alex**

Not half bad for your first battle rap  
That's a good indicator that you learn fast  
But is it fast enough to save you from this DEO agent  
Who's run out of patience I'm done being gracious  
I'm makin' I'm takin' an audacious stipulation  
Stop pretending you're protecting  
This planet from accidental planet wrecking  
You're not altruistic  
just narcissistic and sadistic  
Making human statistics with your terroristic ballistics  
On National City  
Tell me General Astra from Krypton  
Why were you in prison  
Weren't your people driven to listen  
When you turned into a villain  
Or did your violence and defiance  
Silence the science that could provide the guidance  
To save your world  
Now you're here as a tyrant  
Still aspirin' and tryin' to sell the vision you envision  
And there ain't no one buyin'  
You reject peace, beat on your niece, bring misery and injury  
And now you been dealt the displeasure of dealin with me  
You mess with my planet you conjure my rage  
But my savage rampage won't end with you in a cage  
I'll cut you to bits, make you contort, writhe and twist,  
Skip the Kryptonite and kill you with my fists  
I've got a Martian and a sister if I need an assist  
Superman standing by in nearby Metropolis  
Listen up while I give you this salient instruction  
Agent Danvers is a weapon of mass alien destruction  
I'll give you one warning that you can know to be true  
This weapon is fully armed it's pointed at you  
Fly away fast find a new habitat to inhabit  
Go as quick as you can and get your ass off my planet.

**Astra**

I'm new to battle rap but here's one thing I know  
My rival's rap has left me neither burned nor pwned  
I stand before you unharmed, undamaged by your verse  
A clear indication your valiant challenge is inert  
You have qualities I'm pleased to see in your weak and feeble species  
You should join me, be my ally, we needn't be enemies  
You're daring is endearing, but I can't have you interfering  
All the plans are in place and the finale is nearing  
I'm trying to save your life and the existence of your race  
And answer me this question while we stand face to face  
Does every soldier in your bloated overstaffed workplace  
Drive those loaded oversized vehicles all over the place  
Do you power them with fuel you've stolen from the Earth  
Go home and ask your sister what a home planet is worth  
If you can't be convinced then you'll be quickly dismissed  
I need only defeat you, compete and deplete you  
I will easily beat you, you're not my equal  
There won't enough of you left for a rematch or sequel  
You may be elite but in this combat zone  
I'll rip off your flesh and crush all your bones  
And if you're alive to retreat then you can let it be known  
That General Astra In-Ze has claimed this planet as her own.

**Author's Note:**

> Who won?
> 
> Please let me know if you like these. Also hit me up on tumblr at comicgirlgeek.


End file.
